blogrollandroll's rules for sexual harrassment in the workplace

Rules for sexual harrassment in the workplace:

1. If you are going to pounce on some targeted thing in your workplace, please at least be hot. Otherwise, the ensuing nightmares of erasing the feel of your grisly lips are not worth the $75 of soap needed to sufficiently scrub away a month's worth of epidermal cells.
   
   
2. If you are attracted to someone, try to use their body language to see if they return the feelings. Note: polite eye contact is an insufficient marker of reciprocity, especially as it is a desireable trait in today's American work force. (e.g.: Someone looking at you while you are speaking does not mean they are ready to rip off their clothes, in case you missed that in social skills 101.)
   
   
3. If you were rejected the last 10 times you did this, think twice about the next 10 times.
   
   
4. If there are multiple generations between you and your object of desire, there's a good chance she will not think of you as dating material.
   
   
5. If you hope that your advance will ignite an animalistic well of passion deep within your target, looking like Brad Pitt puts one notch in your favor. Looking like Brad Pitt's great grandfather does not.
   
   
6. Having bad breath, especially if you plan to slime someone's face, is also extremely unhot. At least pop a breath mint before your predatory leap.
   
   
7. If you hold a position of prestige and power and will be ashamed if you are found out, maybe it's not a good idea to repeatedly throw yourself at scores of the unwilling.
   
   
8. If you are found out, it's your own damn fault. Stop doing it.
   
   
9. If you are being let go because of your predatory ways, maybe you shouldn't be snagging one last victim as you're tripping out the door.
   
   
10. It is unwise to mistake empathy and compassion for passion if none of the other signals mesh (also usually covered in social skills 101).