-- slowly pulling away from shore

Sunset photo from NOAA

We're home, but only temporarily. Dan's lovely grandmother, someone I love as if she were my own, is now mostly sleeping. Yesterday she held our hands and told us she loved us even though the effort of talking was almost unbearable, but today she rests, her ship slowly pulling outward from the shore.

There are so many complicated emotions when dealing with the edges of death and I don't really want to go into all of them right now. But one thing surprised me earlier.

My biggest fear of getting old has been this moment. The margins of life where we must reluctantly rely on others for caretaking. The whole idea of having another person (a stranger!) change my clothes scared the living daylights out of me.

Until today.

Until I helped the hospice nurse gently lay Bubbie into a more comfortable position. I thought it would be hard to see her wrapped up in the sheets as we repositioned her but I didn't. She was beautiful. I don't know how to explain it. I could see how really this is all part of life, the ease of caring for one another however we can.

Maybe someday I will do volunteer work to help people at these edges. It seems like a beautiful cause, mankind serving eachother in our most vulnerable moments.

And so while we sit and wait for the dreaded call, I read these words from a comforting booklet, Gone From My Sight, that hospice provided on the process of dying:

I am standing upon the seashore. A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the blue ocean. She is an object of beauty and strength. I stand and watch her until at length she hangs like a speck of white cloud just where the sea and sky come to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!"

"Gone where?"

Gone from my sight. That is all. She is just as large in mast and hull and spar as she was when she left my side and she is just as able to bear her load of living freight to her destined port.

Her diminished size is in me, not in her. And just at the moment when someone at my side says: "There, she is gone!" there are other eyes watching her coming, and other voices ready to take up the glad shout: "Here she comes!"

And that is dying.

~ Henry Van Dyke

-- the snow dog in his element

Tycho in the snow earlier today. (Sent from my phone.)

-- because I needed this

Sorry about the blurry pic, still blogging by phone. My car was hit by a trash truck this morning, but my annoyance was replaced by gratitude for their honesty and responsibility. Will deal with it when I get back to Maryland.

Composer Rahman has no regrets about 'Slumdog'

Oscar nominee A.R. Rahman has a polite suggestion for those in Bollywood who complain that the hit film "Slumdog Millionaire" casts India in a negative light with its depiction of poverty in Mumbai's slums: don't just criticize it but make your own film.

"In my opinion if creative people want to comment on a film, and if I were a director and felt that way, I would make another film and prove my point and say this is what India is about," Rahman told The Associated Press in an interview from Los Angeles before returning home to work on film scores before participating in the Feb. 22 Oscars awards show.

As for "Slumdog Millionaire," the noted Indian film music composer believes it is "a great statement of showing in a way the past reality and the growth of the economy in India, which all comes across beautifully."

The 43-year-old Rahman has been hailed in India for his three Oscar nominations for "Slumdog Millionaire" — for best original score and the songs "O ... Saya" and "Jai Ho." But the rags-to-riches saga of a Mumbai orphan who competes on India's "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" quiz show received a controversial reception in India.

Rahman refused to comment on a defamation lawsuit filed against him and actor Anil Kapoor, who plays the quizmaster in the film, by a Mumbai slum-dwellers' rights group alleging its members found the term "Slumdog" insulting.

But he said he had no qualms about working on the film with British director Danny Boyle and his crew, whom he described as "very sensitive people."

"When you came out of the film ... that felt so good and positive that nothing else mattered to me," said Rahman. "I loved working with Danny and I loved his whole vision of the screenplay and the artistic quality of the film.

"And for me it's not about India alone, it's about the human spirit which triumphs, and this could have happened in China or Brazil or anywhere else."

Rahman says the film is consistent with his humanitarian goals. An honorary U.N. ambassador, he set up the A.R. Rahman Foundation to support educational programs for underprivileged children across India. He has also founded a conservatory in his home city of Chennai to prepare youngsters for careers in music.

Lohan's dad vows to stop blogging

Lindsay Lohan’s father has vowed to stop blogging to please his daughter.

Michael Lohan - who begged Lindsay’s fans to "intervene" to save her life last week - will no longer write about his 22-year-old daughter and her sister Ali, 15, but insists his posts were never meant to hurt his family.

Michael wrote: "Well here you have it. My final blog. And for those of you who are doubters or knockers, let me say that I never took a penny for my blog or anything I ever did for any of my children. I did what I did, out of love and concern, regardless of any of your opinions. I did it to help them, advance their careers and give them hope.

"I have to say that when it comes to my innocent children, who are at risk and have nothing to do with the situation at hand, I have to respect their request. (ie ‘I was issued a cease and desist.’)"

Despite his claim he never wanted to upset Lindsay, Michael then launches into an attack against her lover Samantha Ronson.

He wrote: “Before I go, however, I must say that I received a text message from a very close and dear friend of Lindsay's who I trust and admire. The text said, ‘Between you and me you are doing the right thing.

"From what I hear, from Lindsay's nearest and dearest friends, Lindsay is worse off than ever since she has been with Sam. I told Dina that Lindsay needs you back in her life, and I think you know that I was the one who really helped Linds get into rehab.'"

Michael alleges Samantha is only dating Lindsay to boost her bank balance and blames the 31-year-old DJ for ruining Lindsay’s career.

Referring to Lindsay’s 2007 rehab stint, he wrote: "Just look at Samantha's tax returns before she ‘engaged’ Lindsay, and then after! Look at Lindsay's career before Samantha and after! Look at all the things Lindsay accomplished and had going for her before Samantha and after.

"I was with Lindsay when she got out of Cirque Lodge. I saw and experienced the 'old Lindsay' with so much hope and promise. I had full confidence in her. Then back came Samantha! Can't you all see this?

"Am I speaking to stone walls? All I ask that you put yourselves in my shoes and HONESTLY consider what you would do."

-- unappetizing, and update

When Dan saw this (chocolate with lemon and pepper), he crinkled his nose and said, "isn't that supposed to go with fish?" heh. Chocolate cod, mmm. In other news, we're driving to philly now, emerg trip 2c Dan's sick grandmother. Blogging from phone.

Pucker Up!

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought I would post a product review on some of my all-time favorite, hall of fame, can’t go wrong with…red lipsticks!

There is no doubt that red lips make an impression, but you don’t want your lips entering the room 5 minutes before the rest of your body so here are a few In My Pro Opinion suggestions:

Use simple eye makeup. A neutral or vanilla eye shadow (matte or shimmer) swept from lid to brow would work best (see archive post Take 5 for Pro recommendations).

Consider using a liquid liner instead of a pencil or shadow and only line the top lash line. Very sophisticated a la Sophia Loren! The Pro is in love with MAC's LiquidLast Liners.

Coat those lashes thrice with the blackest-black, lengthening mascara. Try a Pro favorite like Max Factor's 2000 Calorie Mascara or Fiberwig Mascara!

Watch the hair! Opt for a classic hairstyle and save that rocker frock for another occasion!

If you are drawn to browns or earth-tone colors, go for a brick red lipstick with brownish undertones.

If you can wear rainbow colors with your skin tone, then try a lipstick that is a true red or fire engine red.

If blue is your choice on the color wheel, then seek out a cool toned red lipstick with bluish undertones.

Got a tan? Choose a red lipstick with flecks of gold.

What the Pro carries in her kit…

“Vogue” out with MAC's Russian Red,which was designed specially for Madonna. It is a bluish, matte red with great texture.



Channel your inner Marilyn Monroe and grab Chanel's Rouge Hydrabase Creme Lipstick in Red Dream. It is a moisturizing formula that won’t fade or feather.



Guaranteed to leave a stain on “his” collar, Nars Cosmetic's Fire Down Below is a dramatic, blood red lipstick with brownish/orange undertones. It is semi-matte, highly pigmented and is very, very long wearing. (Image below is not of actual color).



Hit the bull’s eye with L'Oreal's Infallible Lip Color in Target Red. This product has incredible staying power in a glossy formula. Great bang for your buck and available almost everywhere!



As timeless as the little black dress, Jemma Kidd's Classic Couture Lip Color in Siren is a super creamy pro formula that will allow you to sip your champagne with class! So, next time you are at Target don’t forget to throw this in your cart! (Image below is not of actual color).



For that just drank the Kool Aid, but in a good way look, try Aveda's Nourish-Mint Smoothing Lip Color in Cherrybud. It is a great sheer stain and lip plumper! I keep this product in my personal makeup bag for those days when I want to spice up my swank factor! (Image below is not of actual color).



Are you a Sinner or a Saint? Check out Lipstick Queen's Saint Red, which is very sheer, but has enough depth of color to leave an impression. Or be a Sinner Red, which has the most insane pigmentation I have ever seen in a lipstick formula!




Whether you have plans this Valentine’s Day with your husband, fiancé, boyfriend, boy-toy, partner or if you’re a hot, single gal about town, you will knock ‘em dead with one of these red lipsticks on your perfectly pouty lips!