The "you're doing it wrong" email unsubscription form

RAGE!! I have unsubscribed from this email list like THREE TIMES. Why do I have to keep unsubsribing? Apparently, it's not enough to just check off "unsubscribe" Or "unsubscribe all." I am supposed to specify "PLEASE DO NOT EMAIL ME EVER AGAIN." Now, I didn't want to be THAT harsh because I thought okay dood, you want to send me a newsletter once a month, fine. But I am still getting all the regular crap in my inbox every day.

So, ladies & gentlemen, I present to you: the "YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG" email unsubscription service. DO NOT DO IT THIS WAY or someone is going to burn your house down:

Email Address (required) 

Your Subscriptions

Unchecking the box next to your subscription and clicking the submit button below will unsubscribe you from the selected list.

JACK*$$ (OLD LIST FROM 2008)

JACK*$$ FAN CLUB

JACK*$$

Do Not Contact

Add me to your "Do Not Contact" list This will stop all emails from this sender, regardless of your subscription status above.

Can't we just have ONE BOX, folks? Kthx.