-- my new nightlight watch

Dear Timex,

Thank you for making a watch that can light up any hour of the night so I can see how little sleep I am actually getting. You have no idea how much I love this feature. I went to Macy's tonight to see if they carried you and they didn't, wtf? I stormed out in a huff. Faithful me will only buy a watch if it works in the dark. No one seems to do this but you. (At least in my price range.) You rock!

Sincerely,
me

Score! $17 from Sears; found and purchased in 10 minutes.

Of course the fast shopping time was partially due to the knives I swallowed this morning that have been stuck in my throat all day, rasping at it and making it more and more raw by the moment.

Yes, I am sick, but at least I'll know what time it is when I'm tossing all night.

Note to self: two-year warranty,
the countdown begins today.