-- Dirty jobs, my favorite show.

So I'm sitting here watching Dirty Jobs (right now) with Dan. I love this show. I love Mike Rowe. He is absolutely perfect for this show, he has a fantastic personality. I have such a celebrity crush on him.

So we're eating dinner in front of the tube. Here are some snippets of our running commentary:

Watching sheep castration (7 minute clip):
(HORRIBLE GORY AWFUL CLIP warning, do not watch if you are faint of heart!)


Mike Rowe grabs a sheep scrotum, pulls the skin taught and slices off the tip, as instructed by the farmers standing over him.

Dan: OHH! Oh omg OH that is awful!! OW!! OmG!

Then Mike Rowe bends down and, with his teeth, grabs the balls by their stringy ligaments, rips them out and spits the whole bloody mess into a bucket.

Dan: That is the most DISGUSTING thing I have ever seen!

Dan: You know, I've had HUMAN FECES spray onto my face and even THAT wasn't this bad.

me: What? Wait, when did this happen?

Dan: On the Gazela (photo at right) when I was cleaning a sewer pipe that had become clogged. I opened the end and crystallized human urine and feces splattered onto my face.

me: omg I didn't know about this!

Dan: Yes. And even that was not this disgusting!

Next clip is on leech hunters in the South, collecting leeches and making (their words, not mine) "$1,000/day." (Sorry, but I don't believe this, or there'd be no leeches left after 3 months; the place would be crawling with get-rich-quickers.)

After a hard day of gathering leeches, Mike and the rest of the men settle in the leech "processing" facility to gaze at the leech yield while sitting on empty buckets.

So how do you sit on a bucket? Usually upside down, right? Buttcheeks require surface area. Everyone knows this. But the leech dudes sneer knowingly at Mike.

"You know what happens to a baby when it's trapped in a dirty diaper?" Mike looks quizzically at them. "You should sit on it the other way." He looks at them uncertainly and turns the bucket over slowly to perch uncomfortably over the top, derriere ensconced in the opening. "I just don't like how this um, stretches things," he comments.

me (laughing): I don't get why he has to turn the bucket over.

Dan: Me either.

me: I mean, what did it have to do with a baby crapping in its diaper?

Dan: Beats me!

me: Maybe it has something to do with their redneck-ness. Like maybe the very act of sitting on a bucket makes you unable to control your bowels, so they figure better be ready.

Dan (laughing): I bet any one of those guys could destroy a toilet bowl.

me: I'm assuming you mean by overuse?

Dan: I mean, even just the first beer crap in the morning would do it.

I love this show!