***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!So, I hope you know that everything you do on the internet can be traced back to you. Everything! This story is about how my financial state became the possible subject for a national tv show.
While slaving away in school a few years back, I lamented on a message board about how my student loans were going to kill me. I must have written a pretty compelling post because months later, a TV executive stumbled across it and contacted me, saying, "hey, we're doing a show on financial ruin. Will you be on it?"
Me [as the "wtf are you talking about?" part of my brain lit up, then was quickly silenced by the larger frontal pimp lobe]: "Um... hm. Well how much would it pay?"
TV executive: "Oh, nothing. But they'll cover your flight. And you get to be on Oprah."
me: "Bitch! You don't call someone on the brink of financial ruin and offer them to shame themselves on national TV - the Oprah show no less, for free. Pay up!"
Um, just kidding. That's what I was thinking.
Really what I said was:
me: "Um, no thank you."
TV executive: "Are you sure? We'd put you up in a hotel in Chicago overnight too."
me: "How many nights? Like a vacation?"
[Shut up! I had to ask. Come on. Wouldn't you?]
TV executive: "Only one night because that's all that's needed for the show."
me: "pssht. That's it? No thanks."
TV executive [trying several more times]: "But you might like the experience. You'd be with others. And Chicago's a really neat town."
Um, yeah.
"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my
Yeah. Display us on stage, freaks that we are, for ridicule so we can collectively zombify and attach to eachother for support. A bunch of money mismanaging wrecks careening through life, united by their chosen shames. On stage. That's exactly what I want. Before my high school reunion too, just so anyone who ever tried to kick my ass then could see how much my life rocked right at that moment.
So, um, yeah, that didn't work out. But if they HAD offered to pay off my student loans, I would have signed up. I'm not THAT proud. ;)
**For the record, my loans are under control now. I can afford to eat every third Thursday and even bought a new pair of socks recently. My spleen is going to be juuust fine. One day. :)
More TMI Thursdays?
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